Until six months ago, I stood firmly on the other side of the divide, believing that yoga is not for guys - and therefore definitely not for me. I resisted using the common defence mechanism that yoga is at the same time too light a workout and too serious about stretching.
Even now, practising yoga as a guy continues to be a conversation killer. When someone asks if I went to the gym, my reply that I just finished a yoga class typically invites silence or a polite but contorted smile. And once, a female colleague responded with "I prefer to take part in macho sports."
I'm glad I got past worrying about what others think. Try this as a guy: walk into a class full of ladies wearing tights, receive their curious glances, then proceed to be the most inflexible person in class. In the case of inexperienced instructors, add a situation where the teacher gets surprised by someone as stiff as you.
I'm glad I realised the secret to getting good - dropping the competitive mindset against others but pushing my own limits while being comfortable in my own skin.
I was twelve when I first received the advice that "loving what you do is more important than doing what you love." Back then, I dismissed that suggestion as coming from someone who is old and cynical. I thought I should only pursue what I love, and skip what I don't. Now I see it as important for me to not avoid doing what I don't love yet.
With yoga, the initial dislike of the discomfort gave way to a maturity in dealing with the discomfort. Everything else in life - work, personal relationships - might benefit from the same. Slowly but surely, I got better. A pose I thought I couldn't deal with has recently become effortless.
It brings to mind the idea that "it is easy for you but it is hard for me." A lot of times we defensively dismiss someone's effortless ability as something we cannot achieve. But maybe it is because we never worked for it.
I'm thankful that I've more or less made yoga a ritual for myself now, practising at least every other day. It has given me calm and focus in a job that requires me to be composed and to have a clear mind. More importantly, it keeps me sane and fresh despite being desk bound for too many hours.
Two random sentences from my instructors come to mind:
- “If you can’t do it slow, you can’t do it fast."
My instructor was trying to tell me that I wouldn't be able to launch into a crow pose or headstand quickly if I cannot manage to do it extremely slowly. It really reminded me that the path to being really good at something involves lots of relentless practice, persistence and being honest to myself.
- “Loud noises don’t scare you when you’re relaxed."
Something had collapsed in the room when our eyes were closed in meditation. Yet no one had any significant reaction. It makes me realise that the way to navigate tough options in life and work is to be relaxed about it. It doesn't mean you don't care or you are not invested in the outcomes. It simply means you're able to create a better outcome.
I never thought I’d write a love letter to yoga, and the old me might have been surprised at the new me. But I'm glad to say that yoga is saving my life. And yes - hello from the other side.