How to say what you mean to say

My years at Singapore Airlines taught me that it is easy to either be a “yes man” or say what you mean to say, but too aggressively.

Managers who lack confidence love colleagues who agree with them - very humanly so.  In big corporations too many choose what is less painful (seek consensus, disagree behind the back) than what is right for the firm (challenge outdated beliefs of senior experienced people, accept alternative views professionally, not take it personally).

At the same time, frustrated upstart employees find it easy to protest, self-righteously.  I’ve walked out of a 50-people meeting because it was clearly so unproductive, sending a message - too bluntly.

I’ve since wondered where the balance is - both when managing and being managed.  Essentially, how to say what you mean to say?

This is even more critical when I moved to web startups, where speed and trust can make or break a product.

Heavily inspired by John Maeda’s “Four Rules" and the book "The Five Dysfunctions of a Team”, I’ve decided it is best for me to be forthright, but respectfully.  Not making someone look bad or feel insulted is important if you want that person to understand and internalise what you just said instead of rejecting it.  And see why you said it.  

Being honest is actually a form of respect, but only when you make it so - being honest is also an art.

Image: x1brett (Flickr)

Love writing?  You really don't need much time to write.  I finished this at a cafe while waiting for my wife.

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