On paper, my educational degrees are in Economics and Revenue Management. Yet I was only one or two credits away from also being a Psychology major. Rather than gain the extra qualification with the mandated coursework, I decided to select other courses that would challenge me to grow more.
But if I were to sum up my education from institutions, work and life, I’d describe it as understanding human behaviour. So, in one word - psychology.
Many confuse ‘psychology’ with ‘psychiatry’ (the applied, physician variation) or even worse - perceive psychology as the dark art of controlling others’ mindsets.
Over the years, one of the most important differences I have learned is to hold the mindset of 'influence' rather than the mindset of ‘control.’
With a control mindset, we attempt to dictate the outcome by directing others. When they do not abide with our instructions, both parties become emotional. Our emotions make us lose sight of our goal. In the chaos, the results deviate from our desires.
When we are in an influence mindset, we recognise that whether and how others can be persuaded is the path to the outcome we want. We take logical steps to uncover how they think and calmly navigate towards our goal.
The control mindset is common. It damages our everyday relationships at work and with friends and family.
For example, your Mom is riding shotgun as a passenger in the car your Dad is driving, and she tries to specify how he should drive. Your boss mandates a process contrary to your opinions. Or a mobile app you don’t quite like directs you to rate it five stars.
This ties in with how we typically evaluate situations from our own perspectives, inside-out, rather than outside-in. Even when it involves others making decisions for themselves (the most critical time to think from their angle).
The next time you are annoyed with someone, pause to see if it is because you wish to exert control. Loosen your grip. Walk in their footsteps and you will end up leading the way.