"Fears unfaced become your limits." Robin Sharma
We start fearless as children, but as we mature, we shy away from what we are weak at. Over time, our weaknesses become our limits - out of habit.
Introverts are naturally more averse to networking than extroverts. But I learned early on as an introvert that avoiding or even looking down on networking is a defence mechanism. We are just denying that networking can be meaningful and powerful - but secretly jealous.
Not that introversion can really be shed. I am still uncomfortable with small talk, and I still feel overextended when I dive into networking events where everyone else seems to already know each other. I still prefer one-on-one conversations and the company of close friends.
Instead, organisations and networking events should help everyone, including introverts, network. Even when an organisation tends to be born from a commonality, like the university you went to or the company you used to work for - its true power is in its diversity.
One big but simple lesson I learned from attending TED Global is - no one came here to be alone. The TED team remarked that there should be no reason you are standing there alone when someone else is pretending to look at a display. No one came here to look at a display either. That simple comment gave me courage to keep initiating conversations.
So I am a firm believer that the event format and organisation structure matter, more so than whether the people within are seasoned networkers or taking their tentative first steps.
Improving the way networking is done at and between events is the exact topic at Peatix Singapore's next Backstage Pass event on Thursday. It might seem like I am being incredibly biased or sneaky to be writing this, but truth is that the three speakers we have are amazing and truly believe in what they are teaching. And it would be awkward for them to promote themselves, so here goes.
I knew Grace Clapham from TEDx circles four years ago, and everyone who meets her goes away impressed by her passion, sincerity and abilities. In addition to her own projects (like Change Ventur.es), she is always involved in organisations that give back to the community - Creative Mornings, TEDx and more. Like many of the wonderful speakers we have had before, she readily agreed to our invitation for Backstage Pass in spite of her crazy schedule. And she brought in Solonia Teodros, another amazing lady who co-founded community-driven initiatives including The Hawker Sessions and The Feast Worldwide Singapore.
I am very excited that Grace and Solonia will be conducting a hands-on session that teaches you what interactions to "force" to kick things off, and what activities to do to build trust and transfer knowledge.
We found Jonathan Kwan via Audacity 2014, and meeting him just once convinced me that he has lots to share on getting the strategic structure right for organisations so it can grow. One specific example is how it is easy to attract people who are not yet influential but are enthusiastic about your organisation to show up. But they actually want to network with the influential people who might not be as enthusiastic about showing up. Strategic issues like that make a difference to the networking experience, and he has lessons from building his university local alumni community to share.
Everything else is gravy, but look at this gravy: there are already many other interesting, friendly and accomplished people who have already confirmed their attendance. For $15 entry you also a tasting platter of Carribean food and rum punch from Lime House and $30 worth of Spotify credits.
What we learned at Peatix Singapore is that Singaporeans are really last-minute ticket buyers. People scramble right before the event asking us to save some space for them. But don't worry - we provide refunds if something really crops up, and you can always transfer your ticket. (Get your Backstage Pass tickets here).
"Dogfooding" (i.e. using our own product, or in this case, also organising events) really teaches me what organisers experience. Any organiser would tell you it isn't easy, and is often a humbling experience. But they'll also tell you that the people who come and benefit keeps them going.
On that note, please also come to my talk about Product Management / Community on Friday, March 7th at the Paypal office (Millenia Tower, at lunchtime). Thank you Calvin Cheng (organiser of Hackers and Painters for inviting me). I don't really like giving talks, but I realised it is an important way of sharing knowledge for the community to grow.
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