一知道在哪儿,世界就变得像一张地图那么小了;不知道在哪儿,感觉世界才广阔呢。
Once you know where you are, the world shrinks to the size of a map; when you don't know where you are, that's when you experience the vastness of the world.
一知道在哪儿,世界就变得像一张地图那么小了;不知道在哪儿,感觉世界才广阔呢。
Once you know where you are, the world shrinks to the size of a map; when you don't know where you are, that's when you experience the vastness of the world.
I’ve been very tempted to set a list of rules for my team to follow. The temptation is especially strong in our frenetic startup environment where we move fast while trying not to break so many things.
But should I?
To find my answer, I went for a run. Running is extremely boring. So boring that my mind always unlocks an answer for me after.
I realised that there is no point in setting rules. People just end up breaking them. And smart people would soon find them tiresome. Things also change so quickly that I have no time to update this hypothetical rulebook.
The answer: Habits always trump rules.
A rule: I tell myself that I must wake up to run on Saturday mornings.
A habit: Every Saturday at 7am, I go for a 8km run with my friend.
The idea is to help my team form habits, so that one day they can do things well, rule-free and effortlessly - did it when they don’t even know how they did it.
By the way, the habit of running every Saturday at 7am for 8km with my friend is a real example. And I don't know anymore how I do it.
Because a Product Manager’s impact is ill-defined, we end up being judged for the products we ship. And by extension we start thinking that Product Managers should be evaluated by the solutions we propose.
But that’s missing the point.
Thoroughly understanding and defining the problem we’re trying to solve is far more important than producing a good solution. Rather than prescribe our solution, we should articulate the problem extremely clearly, then rally our larger teams to synthesize the solution together, iteratively. After all, Product Managers are Jack of all trades, not the Master of one.
I see this daily because I manage a team of PMs in a rapidly growing company. Short turnarounds and each PM going deeper into a feature group becomes our excuses for losing sight of the wider problems. It is so tempting to parade a quick solution instead of saying that we don’t know yet and we’re still exploring the problem space.
So it is incredibly helpful to always ask yourself as if it is Day 1 - what exactly is this problem we’re solving here? If we can’t agree on the problem, we’ll never agree on the solution.
Until six months ago, I stood firmly on the other side of the divide, believing that yoga is not for guys - and therefore definitely not for me. I resisted using the common defence mechanism that yoga is at the same time too light a workout and too serious about stretching.
Even now, practising yoga as a guy continues to be a conversation killer. When someone asks if I went to the gym, my reply that I just finished a yoga class typically invites silence or a polite but contorted smile. And once, a female colleague responded with "I prefer to take part in macho sports."
I'm glad I got past worrying about what others think. Try this as a guy: walk into a class full of ladies wearing tights, receive their curious glances, then proceed to be the most inflexible person in class. In the case of inexperienced instructors, add a situation where the teacher gets surprised by someone as stiff as you.
I'm glad I realised the secret to getting good - dropping the competitive mindset against others but pushing my own limits while being comfortable in my own skin.
I was twelve when I first received the advice that "loving what you do is more important than doing what you love." Back then, I dismissed that suggestion as coming from someone who is old and cynical. I thought I should only pursue what I love, and skip what I don't. Now I see it as important for me to not avoid doing what I don't love yet.
With yoga, the initial dislike of the discomfort gave way to a maturity in dealing with the discomfort. Everything else in life - work, personal relationships - might benefit from the same. Slowly but surely, I got better. A pose I thought I couldn't deal with has recently become effortless.
It brings to mind the idea that "it is easy for you but it is hard for me." A lot of times we defensively dismiss someone's effortless ability as something we cannot achieve. But maybe it is because we never worked for it.
I'm thankful that I've more or less made yoga a ritual for myself now, practising at least every other day. It has given me calm and focus in a job that requires me to be composed and to have a clear mind. More importantly, it keeps me sane and fresh despite being desk bound for too many hours.
Two random sentences from my instructors come to mind:
I never thought I’d write a love letter to yoga, and the old me might have been surprised at the new me. But I'm glad to say that yoga is saving my life. And yes - hello from the other side.
The tablecloth was plastic, and so were the chairs. In fact, the chairs are the type of stools you would find at street food stalls - red, blue and generally ugly. The menu board for coffee was sparse.
The cake display was the opposite. Perfectly shaped macarons and artfully composed Mont Blancs were lined next to classic tarts and pots of crème brûlée. And once I picked my cake (Alhambra Torte - 70% chocolate, hazelnut cake soaked with coffee-rum syrup and filled with chocolate ganache), an extensive coffee menu appeared. But again, the look of the menu - home-printed sheets of flimsy paper in an equally shoddy plastic file - didn't seem so promising.
In the end, I spent my afternoon at the siphon-brewed coffee cafe listening to three owners/employees share their views. Here's what I learned:
Sou Fujimoto is a young architect born in Hokkaido, based in Tokyo, famous for his 2013 Serpentine Pavilion and permeable private houses and currently working on competition projects his firm won in Paris, Budapest, Taichung, among other locations.
How successful will you be in your 50s? When you’re younger, you might look to older alumni from your university to glimpse into your future.
One difference between working for a big company and at your own startup is the direction in which resources flow. Employees pinch from a big company but donate to a startup. In a corporate environment, you probably would not feel guilty printing a personal document in the office. At your startup, you might be bringing snacks from home to feed your team.
On paper, my educational degrees are in Economics and Revenue Management. Yet I was only one or two credits away from also being a Psychology major. Rather than gain the extra qualification with the mandated coursework, I decided to select other courses that would challenge me to grow more.
But if I were to sum up my education from institutions, work and life, I’d describe it as understanding human behaviour. So, in one word - psychology.
Many confuse ‘psychology’ with ‘psychiatry’ (the applied, physician variation) or even worse - perceive psychology as the dark art of controlling others’ mindsets.
Over the years, one of the most important differences I have learned is to hold the mindset of 'influence' rather than the mindset of ‘control.’
With a control mindset, we attempt to dictate the outcome by directing others. When they do not abide with our instructions, both parties become emotional. Our emotions make us lose sight of our goal. In the chaos, the results deviate from our desires.
When we are in an influence mindset, we recognise that whether and how others can be persuaded is the path to the outcome we want. We take logical steps to uncover how they think and calmly navigate towards our goal.
The control mindset is common. It damages our everyday relationships at work and with friends and family.
For example, your Mom is riding shotgun as a passenger in the car your Dad is driving, and she tries to specify how he should drive. Your boss mandates a process contrary to your opinions. Or a mobile app you don’t quite like directs you to rate it five stars.
This ties in with how we typically evaluate situations from our own perspectives, inside-out, rather than outside-in. Even when it involves others making decisions for themselves (the most critical time to think from their angle).
The next time you are annoyed with someone, pause to see if it is because you wish to exert control. Loosen your grip. Walk in their footsteps and you will end up leading the way.
Fabian has spoken to hundreds on topics spanning entrepreneurship, community-building, product management, design, pricing and travel. With insights into the psychology behind engaging users and the evolution of live experiences, he provokes discussions around the role you and your organisation play in the future of online-offline interaction.
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